Realistic Expectations and Divorce

Posted on June 1, 2020

When a relationship ends, how many of us look back and see clearly what we ignored all along? To function in that dysfunctional relationship, we put blinders on, and we willingly kept them on to stay in the relationship. As the relationship ends, it often feels like we are at a dead end. But we actually have a priceless opportunity: to become to uniquely willing and determined to live in reality. We are called to see ourselves, our past and our present, clearly.

The divorce process is an opportunity to take off the blinders and also to remain open to understanding the position of your spouse. The conduct of the divorce will determine the structure of your and your children’s lives for years to come.  There are decision-points in every direction: you decide how you want to communicate with your ex; you decide how you want to encourage your children to engage with his or her parent; you decide how much you want to go to bat over child or spousal support, or the division of assets; how to recover from a history of domestic violence and abuse in your household. Reorganizing the fabric of your financial, social and emotional life can result in decision fatigue. Our San Francisco divorce practice assists our clients in tackling the divorce process in a step by step manner, with the understanding that this process is emotionally and financially overwhelming.

The divorce process is a critical time to take stock of your emotional blinders. Is anger, resentment, regret, or fear impairing your decision-making? During the divorce, you are setting the foundation for your and your children’s lives to come. In our San Francisco divorce and family law practice, we understand that we are not only attorneys at law. We are counselors at law. We are psychologically-minded in helping our clients come to this process with both feet on the ground, with open eyes, and with an honest appraisal of reality.